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Holly Butcher

By Luke Butcher

In loving memory of Holly Butcher

Holly Butcher aged 27, recently passed away from ewing's sarcoma, a rare form of tumour. Holly was a beloved and incredibly inspiring person while she was alive, but it was something Holly set in motion for after she passed which is now taking the internet by storm.

Holly penned a letter of advice on life, coming to terms with one’s mortality and dealing with the reality of her cancer and left instructions for it to be posted to Facebook.

At the time of writing, that original post has been shared over 150,000 times and has ignited articles and media coverage around the world. Her moving words are inspiring the world and below you’ll find her post in full. We encourage everyone to read and share Holly’s important message.

In addition to Holly's letter below, her partner Luke had his own words to add: 

"I really want people to know that what Holly wrote in her letter wasn’t a sudden realisation she had in the last few precious months we had together. That’s how she lived her life! 

"From the first day we met, she told me that work & my business were never going to define me as a person but would be simply an accomplishment along the way. She taught me how to stop and smell the roses, how to love & how to let someone love me. She backed me 100% everyday, told me when I was being an arse and told me when she was proud. 

"She was humble, confident, shy, so so smart & beautiful all in one. She was a hell of a woman and an even better person. If I ever have a daughter and she could turn out to be half the girl Hol was, I would be one proud father."

After being in contact Luke, we created this in memoriam page to honour Holly. If you’d like to make a donation and leave a message you can do so, and all donations of $2 or more are tax deductible and go towards helping the 52,000 Australians diagnosed with a rare or less common cancer every year, just like Holly.

Holly’s letter:

A bit of life advice from Hol:

It’s a strange thing to realise and accept your mortality at 26 years young. It’s just one of those things you ignore. The days tick by and you just expect they will keep on coming; Until the unexpected happens. I always imagined myself growing old, wrinkled and grey- most likely caused by the beautiful family (lots of kiddies) I planned on building with the love of my life. I want that so bad it hurts.

That’s the thing about life; It is fragile, precious and unpredictable and each day is a gift, not a given right.

I’m 27 now. I don’t want to go. I love my life. I am happy.. I owe that to my loved ones. But the control is out of my hands.

I haven’t started this ‘note before I die’ so that death is feared - I like the fact that we are mostly ignorant to it’s inevitability.. Except when I want to talk about it and it is treated like a ‘taboo’ topic that will never happen to any of us.. That’s been a bit tough. I just want people to stop worrying so much about the small, meaningless stresses in life and try to remember that we all have the same fate after it all so do what you can to make your time feel worthy and great, minus the bullshit.

I have dropped lots of my thoughts below as I have had a lot of time to ponder life these last few months. Of course it’s the middle of the night when these random things pop in my head most!

Those times you are whinging about ridiculous things (something I have noticed so much these past few months), just think about someone who is really facing a problem. Be grateful for your minor issue and get over it. It’s okay to acknowledge that something is annoying but try not to carry on about it and negatively effect other people’s days.

Once you do that, get out there and take a freaking big breath of that fresh Aussie air deep in your lungs, look at how blue the sky is and how green the trees are; It is so beautiful. Think how lucky you are to be able to do just that - breathe.

You might have got caught in bad traffic today, or had a bad sleep because your beautiful babies kept you awake, or your hairdresser cut your hair too short. Your new fake nails might have got a chip, your boobs are too small, or you have cellulite on your arse and your belly is wobbling.

Let all that shit go.. I swear you will not be thinking of those things when it is your turn to go. It is all SO insignificant when you look at life as a whole. I’m watching my body waste away right before my eyes with nothing I can do about it and all I wish for now is that I could have just one more Birthday or Christmas with my family, or just one more day with my partner and dog. Just one more.

I hear people complaining about how terrible work is or about how hard it is to exercise - Be grateful you are physically able to. Work and exercise may seem like such trivial things ... until your body doesn’t allow you to do either of them.

I tried to live a healthy life, in fact, that was probably my major passion. Appreciate your good health and functioning body- even if it isn’t your ideal size. Look after it and embrace how amazing it is. Move it and nourish it with fresh food. Don’t obsess over it.

Remember there are more aspects to good health than the physical body.. work just as hard on finding your mental, emotional and spiritual happiness too. That way you might realise just how insignificant and unimportant having this stupidly portrayed perfect social media body really is.. While on this topic, delete any account that pops up on your news feeds that gives you any sense of feeling shit about yourself. Friend or not.. Be ruthless for your own well-being.

Be grateful for each day you don’t have pain and even the days where you are unwell with man flu, a sore back or a sprained ankle, accept it is shit but be thankful it isn’t life threatening and will go away.

Whinge less, people! .. And help each other more.

Give, give, give. It is true that you gain more happiness doing things for others than doing them for yourself. I wish I did this more. Since I have been sick, I have met the most incredibly giving and kind people and been the receiver of the most thoughtful and loving words and support from my family, friends and strangers; More than I could I ever give in return. I will never forget this and will be forever grateful to all of these people.

It is a weird thing having money to spend at the end.. when you’re dying. It’s not a time you go out and buy material things that you usually would, like a new dress. It makes you think how silly it is that we think it is worth spending so much money on new clothes and ‘things’ in our lives.

Buy your friend something kind instead of another dress, beauty product or jewellery for that next wedding. 1. No-one cares if you wear the same thing twice 2. It feels good. Take them out for a meal, or better yet, cook them a meal. Shout their coffee. Give/ buy them a plant, a massage or a candle and tell them you love them when you give it to them.

Value other people’s time. Don’t keep them waiting because you are shit at being on time. Get ready earlier if you are one of those people and appreciate that your friends want to share their time with you, not sit by themselves, waiting on a mate. You will gain respect too! Amen sister.

This year, our family agreed to do no presents and despite the tree looking rather sad and empty (I nearly cracked Christmas Eve!), it was so nice because people didn’t have the pressure of shopping and the effort went into writing a nice card for each other. Plus imagine my family trying to buy me a present knowing they would probably end up with it themselves.. strange! It might seem lame but those cards mean more to me than any impulse purchase could. Mind you, it was also easier to do in our house because we had no little kiddies there. Anyway, moral of the story- presents are not needed for a meaningful Christmas. Moving on.

Use your money on experiences.. Or at least don’t miss out on experiences because you spent all your money on material shit.

Put in the effort to do that day trip to the beach you keep putting off. Dip your feet in the water and dig your toes in the sand. Wet your face with salt water.

Get amongst nature.

Try just enjoying and being in moments rather than capturing them through the screen of your phone. Life isn’t meant to be lived through a screen nor is it about getting the perfect photo.. enjoy the bloody moment, people! Stop trying to capture it for everyone else.

Random rhetorical question. Are those several hours you spend doing your hair and make up each day or to go out for one night really worth it? I’ve never understood this about females .

Get up early sometimes and listen to the birds while you watch the beautiful colours the sun makes as it rises.

Listen to music.. really listen. Music is therapy. Old is best.

Cuddle your dog. Far out, I will miss that.

Talk to your friends. Put down your phone. Are they doing okay?

Travel if it’s your desire, don’t if it’s not.

Work to live, don’t live to work.

Seriously, do what makes your heart feel happy.

Eat the cake. Zero guilt.

Say no to things you really don’t want to do.

Don’t feel pressured to do what other people might think is a fulfilling life.. you might want a mediocre life and that is so okay.

Tell your loved ones you love them every time you get the chance and love them with everything you have.

Also, remember if something is making you miserable, you do have the power to change it - in work or love or whatever it may be. Have the guts to change. You don’t know how much time you’ve got on this earth so don’t waste it being miserable. I know that is said all the time but it couldn’t be more true.

Anyway, that’s just this one young gals life advice. Take it or leave it, I don’t mind!

Oh and one last thing, if you can, do a good deed for humanity (and myself) and start regularly donating blood. It will make you feel good with the added bonus of saving lives. I feel like it is something that is so overlooked considering every donation can save 3 lives! That is a massive impact each person can have and the process really is so simple.

Blood donation (more bags than I could keep up with counting) helped keep me alive for an extra year - a year I will be forever grateful that I got to spend it here on Earth with my family, friends and dog. A year I had some of the greatest times of my life.

..’Til we meet again.

Hol

Xoxo

Holly was an amazing woman and this letter is an important reminder of the reasons we do the work we do here at Rare Cancers Australia. We hope we can all learn something from Holly’s words and wisdom and that together we can improve outcomes for people living with a rare or less common cancer and their families.

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Thank you to my Sponsors

$106.12

Anonymous

$10

Le Nhat Minh Bui

For a beautiful soul and her wonderful parting letter... So Holly can smile from heaven and her loved ones can be happy on earth...

$54.12

Chris Bradford

$50

Justin Huang

Holly is a beautiful soul and her message was really touching. I thank her for the wake up call.

$20

Anonymous

I was touched by Holly Butcher's words... which is what brought me here.

$50

Anonymous

A bright star

$50

Peter E. Deslandes

Holly, You are an inspiration to me & the entire world! You are a True Friend!

$20

Mike Testa

BEAUTIFUL message. <3

$20

Sara Hume

$100

Sailors Eagles

Grafton Hockey Ass “Doin’ it for Holly Round 2019

$30

Clarence Coast

Grafton Hockey Ass “Doin’ it for Holly” Round 2019

$66

Royals Shamrocks

Grafton Hockey Ass “Doin’ it for Holly” Round 2019

$269

Grafton Hockey Association

Combined collection “Doin’ it for Holly” round 2019

$20

Sam Munns

On behalf of Sailors Women’s First Grade ‘doin it for Holly’

$50

Tayla

Doin’ it for Hol 🌻

$300

Westlawn Hockey Club

Doin it for Holly

$20

Anonymous

$30

Anonymous

$100

Anonymous

$100

Luke Halliwell

unfortunately I did not know Holly but her words have helped me through my toughest times. Thank you

$20

Virginie

holly changed my life forever, thanks holly

$10

Jasmine Benn

Words I will hold onto. RIP Holly. Xx

$50

Susan Capra

RIP Holly

$14

Candy Daunt

$100

Tadeusz James

Rest in Peace Holly

$10

Anonymous

$50

Hayden

Inspiring words as I begin my cancer journey. Rest in peace Holly.

$40

Candy Daunt

$25

Anonymous

$75

Dan Black

Thank you Lori for all you've done, and are doing, for all of us

$400

Luke Ashley-cooper

Forever in my heart!!

$25

Anonymous

$25

Anonymous

Beautiful inspiring words

$25

Anonymous

$50

Anonymous

Thank you Holly for this inspirational & moving letter. I have pinned it on our notice board.

$25

Bill Crowle

Read your amazing letter on Facebook and shared RMLAID..

$50

Anonymous

Love you Dolly 🥰

$50

Louise Hankinson

$50

Anonymous

For Holly

$50

Anonymous

❤️❤️

$50

Christine Matthes

Love always. 😘 The Snakes 🐍

$335

Gha

General Public “Doin it for Holly”

$65

Sailors Stars

$60

Baileys Diamonds

$150

Sailors Eagles

$88

Royals Originals

$286

Mcauley

$673

Grafton Hockey Association Inc

Love from Grafton Hockey Association

$260

Westlawn Hockey Club

🌻🌻❤️

$60

Baileys Diamonds

Doin’ it for Holly

$140

Mcauley

Doin it for Holly

$50

Anonymous

Rest In Peace Holly & Toby

$50

Anonymous

$75

David Moulton

Hol's letter has really stuck with me and I return to it on about a yearly basis. Was sweating the small things today and thought of it - such a valuable shot of perspective. Grateful for this legacy!

$100

Anonymous

In memory of Holly Butcher and the wise words she has left us about life!

$50

Marc Adam

$50

Judith Feldmann

$2.53k

Gha

Doin It For Holly Day 2024 🌻

$5

Anonymous

Thank you!

$100

Vicky Ashley-cooper

🌻🌻🌻

$100

Luke Ashley-cooper

Love you darlin 😘

$100

Caitlin Russ

For Hol 🌻

$100

Ashlee Cooper

$50

Ash Costin

$50

Damien Mcdermid

Great work Luke. We all miss Hol so much.

$100

Caitlin Joe

Thinking of you, Holly xo

$20

Tegan

❤️

$15

Anonymous

$30

Andrea

Wise Words, from a wise Woman... Thank you, Holly!

$100

Amy Drewett

For Hol xx

$50

Anonymous

F**k cancer

$100

Deb And Glen

We love and miss you Dolly but will never forget you and your beautiful spirit. 💕💕💕💕

$50

Claire Dux

💜

$30

T

To the beautiful souls that do not deserve this.

$25

Cathy Conrad

In honor of Holly....

$100

Brett Graham

So one day the pain that Holly, Luke, family and friends had to endure is a thing of the past.

$20

Jakob Janezic

This is for you - Holly Ann, we love you and thinking of you...'Till we meet again...xoxo

$50

Angelique & Allen Chelo

You are and always be an amazing Woman Holly! Always in our hearts 💜🌻🌻🌻 love you Holly 💜

$50

Anonymous

$50

Lewis Family

Such a tragic loss of a beautiful girl. ❤️

$30

Bree Clouten

Thanks for the advice

$100

Dean & Laura

For my little sis 😘

$55

Myfarewellnote.com

the myfarewellnote.com team wishes to support this great charity.

$15

Maddison Ellis

$100

Anonymous

For being an inspiration to all before journeying home.

$30

Jamie & Karlee

$100

S.mcguire

Xxx

$50

Blake & Rose

$50

Jaye

Holly the wise words you left behind for us all, will change so many peoples lives for the better 🙌

$30

Jovita

R.I.P Holly. Such a legend. You've touched the hearts and minds of so many in such a beautiful way x

$100

Anonymous

$30

Baz & Toni

$100

Anonymous

$100

Ron & Wendy Butcher

For our precious girl Hol. ❤️🌻❤️

$200

Rbwh Dietitians

$100

Anonymous

$50

Amanda Pegus

$15

K

$10

Steph

rip holly. you're an incredibly beautiful person.

$50

Robyn And Rene

Remembering Holly xx

$25

Anonymous

$30

Ute

Dear Holly, Your message touched my soul and made me re-evaluate my life!

$50

Anonymous

$50

Amy

$50

Matty G.

$20

Anonymous

So inspiring!

$231

Wendy Butcher

Grafton Hockey Ass “doin’ it for Holly” round. 🌻🌻🌻

$50

Anonymous

Wise words, Holly. Hope you are in a better place. 💕

$4.75k

Jubilee Primary School

$50

Denise Roberts

In Memory of an Angel who touched so many lives before and after her passing. Fly High Holly. xx